I am back to discuss the never ending debate – Live in Relationships Vs Marriages in India. I have already talked of this topic and I did support live-in relationships because I believe there is no difference between both except for the social stamp of ‘being married’. But that was my perspective – Perspective of a young woman who has extremely modern views. What about the elder ones? What would have my mother or any Indian mother said about this?
Marriage has always been considered a sacred bond between a man and a woman. It marks the beginning of a new life for a woman – from a daughter, she transforms into a daughter-in-law. And undoubtedly, when a woman in India is married, she is expected to wear the robe of maturity right after the moment she gets married. Once you’re married, you are considered mature enough to take your own decisions and live your life.
Live in Relationships is a concept that came out of nowhere. It is at least not Indian. And more importantly, India won’t accept it. Isn’t it quite evident that the religious armies keep strolling around the country looking for ‘culprits’? The first thing that’s wrong with Live-In Relationships is that they would face the moral police. And trust me! That’s more dangerous than any kind of law enforcement. They don’t really care about your rights or even your life. They would be ready to kill you on the basis of something they didn’t like. And the actual law enforcement does nothing about that.
Forget about the moral police part for now. Talk about society. Indian society needs a huge change in its mindset. Even if you manage to convince us, your parents & family, you won’t be able to shut the mouth of hundreds of other people who have nothing else to do but talk. Let’s say you really manage to ignore the sharp eyes and comments of every person you know or don’t know. What about us? Do you think it is a good thing to make your entire family face the consequences of your personal choice? Do you think it is a good thing to let us go through a mental trauma because you can’t wait for a few more years to get married?
Women in India are treated in a very hypocrite way. On one side, they are called the creators for they were gifted by the Almighty to bear life. They are meant to be worshipped. But the very same set of people find it really easy to call women witches, defame them and even assault them (physically or mentally). It is easy for a man to survive a live in relationship but what about the woman? What if things didn’t work out between you two? Have you ever thought about the future of the woman who would be involved in the relationship? You can’t keep it a secret affair for long. People will know that you are living together and the news will spread. Once you break up, the women would lose her dignity, at least according to the society.
Can you imagine how difficult it would be for her to move on in her life? While a man can easily dirt off this fact that he had been in a live-in relationship, a woman in India can’t. She would have to face a life that widows or divorcees face. Even worse! So, when you think being married is a huge thing, you must know that live-in relationship becomes an equally huge thing. You would have to face two things at a time – everything that married people do and sharp remarks of society over your ultra modern decision. Don’t you think marriage is a better choice in that case?
The last few words seem to be said by a mother of the son. What if my daughter was to go into a live in relationship? Do you even imagine the kind of effort it goes into finding the right groom for a girl? And no one just looks at the groom. Indian people don’t marry their daughter off to one single person. When their daughter gets married, the entire family of the groom is held responsible for their daughter’s safety and well being. The relationship is based on trust.
Such kind of relationship rarely exists when you talk of a live-in relationship. How can you expect a mother to let her daughter live with a stranger all alone? How can you assure me that my daughter would be safe? Marriages are big affairs in India and that kinda helps a woman to expect some kind of safety. Live-in relationships – you won’t even be safe from society! In such a case, what if my daughter makes a wrong choice and ends up with a bad guy? Who would stand up for such a girl?
Live in relationships and marriages might not be different for young people of the society. Live in might even be better in the eyes of few. But then you don’t really live confined in one single house without connecting with any person from the outer world. Do you? And the outer world is stuffed with people who would oppose you on this. Then why even set yourself in this endless argument where no one is right or wrong.
Live In Relationships Vs Marriages – Marriages because they save you from a lot of extra trouble that you really don’t need to burden yourself with.